«Very nice work!
There were some errors - but for your very first machinima VERY WELL done!
* Suddenly from one second to the next, the rain stops. No good.
* Why the hero has instantly a pistol..? Think a knive-fight had been better...or that he first finds a pistol on the road...
* Why should anyone phone all houses in town..? Unlikely. Better let the hero watch that on tv, where the news come in endless loop for all.
* First one weapon, then suddenly two. Better let him find the second one anywhere. You got the time for that! We watch patiently ;-)
* Sometimes the cam cuts off the head of your hero. That is not necessary!
* The landing on the boxes is quite strange. It´s one of TMs cheesy "ideas", that fits nearly never. Better let the hero run, shoot and kill zombies.
* You need much more shooting action! Your hero is in a town full of zombies and has to fight and shoot through them! With some downloadable sets you can use every "war scene" in town, too. Send me a mail, if you want to know more!
* Wanna see more dying zombies! ;-)
Some typically errors of a youngblood, but very well use of cam and music.
In your very first movie I have seen some things, that others doesn´t show after years (!) of moviemaking.
So this pearl of first movie gets 5* by me.
Hope I see more and better movies by you!»
The Outbreak Of WentCo City Part One
«Very nice work!
«I must admit I had doubts at first because your username is cheeseburger films XD
It's okay - not great, but okay. In terms of camera work, you did an all right job for your first film. In terms of story, not so good. Things just happen so quickly in this short amount of time and we can't relate to the characters in any way. It's extremely unlikely that the news reporter would just happen to know the specific location of the character and that he'd know there are weapons on the roof. Work on the subtitles. REALLY WORK ON THE SUBTITLES.
Other than that, keep it up. »
«Very nicely shot. I think a backstory would improve your storytelling, as we are given no clue as to why the hero is laying in the street at the beginning, why the news anchor knows where he is and where he can find guns, and how these zombies were created. Although, I'm sure these points will be answered in a later episode. A nicely shot little action film. Welcome to TMU 4/5»
«Interesting use of camera work, especially the opening shot. The character design was quite good as well. I have a few issues with the retextured city set, some textures were completely blank and it is very distracting.
I recommend cutting the titles out of the opening scene and editing everything in a non linear editing program. The sound issue is a major problem with the TM editor. I recommend exporting everything muted except dialogue and mixing your own sound. »
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