American Teen
Duration: 3min 23sec
Views: 901
Submitted: 9 years ago
Submitted by:
Description:
Another installment of the Jake Rage series, starring Charles Temple as Jake Rage!
Rachel Eisenberg, the starlet of the film American Girls in the City, portrays Janet, an American Teen in search of love, from the Internet! Charles Temple, as Jake Rage, and Mikael Hogstrom as Jake's friend Cactus Clyde are two resourceful men who use the internet for their own desires.
Filmed at Coarse Productions and distributed by Beastly Exploitation Cinema.
«Thanks for the replies. Gee Wiz, the critics complain about the mumbling so I remove it and now they want to hear the actors!
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As to VO's, that would mean writing a script ahead of time, and this little film was cranked out in about 15 hours from start to finish, including the poster posted on TMU. I had gone into the game to check some mods i was working on and ended up making a movie.
Dialogue is the hardest as I never thought of any until the film was basically edited together. I do have two ideas for movies in the future, that if made will be scripted and have VO's, so I am not a lost cause.
«*Cactus Clyde sorry... got drink on the brain lol»
«I agree with HME about getting voice actors, I think it would have made things a little more interesting and easy to follow.. there were some good points here like the editing and sleazy music, and the characters of Jake Rage and Cactus Jack are definitely something you could build upon.. they seem like the kind of charming rogue characters you could get some mileage out of.
However, I think in places you maybe need to go back over what you've written to check that it's all necessary and that it sounds ok. Although for the most part the dialogue was ok here, there were places where it came across as a bit unnatural, like the constant references to meeting people on the internet.. a lot of that could have been omitted or trimmed down.
There were also some phrases, like "grooming", that you seemed to have shoe-horned in without really having it in the right context... ie, it's not really something he'd say to his mate, but more something the police would say about a paedophile.. Jack would be more likely to refer to it as "sweet-talking" or "giving her the chat".. something more down to earth which you'd be more likely to use in everyday speech.
Anyway, overall it was a decent start and it'll be good to see where you go from here.. best of luck developing the series
*** - 3 stars»
«The was pretty good. It was well edited and the music went along with it nicely. I didn't really see the point of the story though. Also, I'd recomend getting voice actors isntead of using subtitles. A lot more people will watch it if it has voices. »