'Twas the Night Before Armageddon

Duration: 5min 07sec Views: 1 870 Submitted: 8 years ago Submitted by:
Description: A semi-sequel to my Christmas movie from 2010. This time, it's before the Mayan Apocalypse. Programs used: Sony Vegas 12 Platinum The Movies: Stunts and Effects Ex-girlfriend voice by Bella (archive) Everything else is credited in the opening. 'Twas the Night Before Armageddon As people ran amok crashing into a ditch Creatures were obviously stirring Except for my ex-girlfriend, the psycho bitch It has been two years since Christmas Eve When I've slammed her Veal Cutlet It has also been a year Since she was gone thanks to a car accident I would often wake up late at night My face fearfully red From visions of my ex's living dead corpse Dancing in my head I also have not-so-fond memories of my ex Before she'd deliver her smack \"What kind of loser watches this crap?\" I am now starting to put it out of my head As it'll be no longer the case For I have found a mute, but beautiful woman Who doesn't punch me in the face On the night before Armageddon My girlfriend went to loot me a gift I wondered if it would be Far Cry 3 Or would it be iClone Pro the fifth When, all of the sudden, There arose such a clatter I sprung from my couch to see what was the matter I opened the door Looked ahead And saw my ex-girlfriend, the psycho bitch Back from the dead My heart stood frozen in fear As I saw her standing there, flesh rotting, with a vodka bottle... filled just 'bout to here It was then that my girlfriend came over And saw my undead ex Then, the zombie went after my girlfriend Like a fat guy in a Valor jogging suit looking for sex It seemed like my girlfriend Was about to meet her doom But then, in came The Postal Dude He saw the chase going on As he has before in town He draws a gun saying \"Merry Christmas\" And shot them both down Then, there was such a rumble As if there was an explosion in the earth's core And someone ran down the road terrified screaming \"The Mayan God is coming riding a Nazi Dinosaur!\" I then turned to my girlfriend's corpse And said one hour before the world ended tonight, \"Well, might as well be a necrophiliac We're all probably going to die.\"
Categories: Comedy General Category